Don’t get me wrong, I’m not denying the existence of bacon. It’s there, running around on the backs of pigs before they run into a magic machine which captapultes it into plastic and then on to our supermarket shelves.
It’s the whole bacon thing. If you asked 10 people right now whats more important; a solar-centric universe, oxygen or bacon – bacon would win. Bacon, a meat product that can be awesome, but if its not crispy enough, terrible. Don’t get me wrong, every now and again for breakfast that stuff is frankly sexual. I’ve had it every day for five days though at festivals, and on day four you want to beg the baconeer (thats the term right) to exchange it for an apple.
But whenever someone posts about bacon everyone jumps and goes ‘bacon for live, bacon for president, bacon is good and important’. I literally just did this. Let me ask you this, all you can ever eat again is bacon – does this really appeal to you? You’ll say yes of course because that’s the bacon law but deep in your soul, really? Really?
Bacon is a lie, in moderation a tasty lie, but a lie.